How to Find a Church

My sister is in a church whose doctrine is not in line with God’s word and I’m trying to research online for a church for her to call home. I am having a difficult time and I am asking if you could recommend a church you may know of in Tulsa that she could attend?

A few times a month, I get questions like these.

My son was accepted to the University of Old Navy and will be attending there this fall. We’re having a hard time finding a church for him to plug into there. Can you help us?

At some point in most every Christian’s life, they must look for another church—sometimes due to a move, and sometimes for friends/family.

Phone books are passé and googling ‘Los Angeles church’ is practically useless, so what should you do? Here’s what I tell people:

Step 1 — Make Sure to Leave Well

If I want to buy a new phone, I have to justify my decision. I don’t just buy the new model every year, but wait until my old one is struggling some. The question is, how bad does it need to get? Scratches to the back aren’t enough. Scratches to the screen aren’t enough. Is the camera broken? Is the screen broken? Does it fail to work frequently? I have to justify my decision to upgrade.

Frequently, when you are changing churches, you will be asked why?! — by friends and by church leaders. You will naturally want to justify your decision. You need to explain why you needed to ‘upgrade’, so you speak negatively about a church, an issue, or a person. But Scripture calls you to speak differently, to build up rather than tear down.

If you are moving out of town, this is typically understood. But if you’re changing churches in the same town, then you really must leave well and let your words be filled with grace.

Ephesians 4:29 — Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.

For more, read Kevin DeYoung on How to Leave Your Old Church

Step 2 — Always Use a Map

If someone tells you that they live in Winnetka, CA and you simply search for churches in Winnetka, you have very low odds of finding a good church for them. Always open up a map (I like Google Maps) and see what cities are nearby.

If you can find Winnetka on a map, then you’d know that its in the middle of the San Fernando valley, north of Los Angeles. Looking at cities nearby will open up the options quite a bit.

Step 3 — Check Websites You Trust

In our town, I was excited to find a Filipino restaurant that opened nearby my house. Not long after they opened, I set up a lunch meeting there. I had just been in the Philippines a few months prior and was excited to have good Filipino food again. Walking in at 11:30am, I was shocked to find all their food sitting in warming trays, looking like it was prepared hours earlier. The food tasted bad and if I had not already experienced good Filipino food, I would never want it again. I should have used Yelp to read reviews first. They went out of business within six months.

If this is true for food, how much more important is it for a church? Don’t just show up to whoever is the top result on Google. Investigate further and see who is willing to endorse and recommend a church.

I typically visit The Master’s Seminary and 9Marks websites as a starting point for possible churches. TMS lists where most of its graduates are serving and 9Marks lists churches that affirm their core values. Use these as a starting point.

Disclaimer: Being on one of the above lists does not mean that the church is solid. Likewise, not being listed above doesn’t mean that the church is unfaithful.

If you love Southern Baptists, the Gospel Coalition, or some other network of churches, then go to their website and see what they recommend.

Step 4 — Investigate the Options

Visit each potential church’s website. (If they don’t have one, they might still be solid but you should assume that they are a pretty small church.) Specifically, you should look at their:

Doctrine

Does it tell you anything specifically about how they view the doctrines of grace, the creation account, spiritual gifts, end times, gender roles, mission of the church, etc.?

Sermon Archive

Is the preacher expositional or topical? Does the same man regularly preach? Are his sermon titles hip, puritanical, comedic, appropriate to the passage? (more on this in step 5)

Pastoral Staff Bios

Where did they come from? What churches have they been at? Have they received any biblical education, and from where? What sort of hobbies do they love enough to put on the website?

Events and Ministries

What does the church focus its attention on? If there is a published church calendar, what do they devote time to? What ministries do they emphasize and advertise on their website? Is their website neglected?

From these things, you can typically tell a fair bit about a church. If they are still under consideration, then hit play on a sermon or two.

You don’t have to listen to a whole sermon, but listen to the first 3–5 minutes of the intro, then skip ahead to the 2/3 mark. Can you listen to the preacher? Would you enjoy listening to him regularly? Would your soul be fed? Could your family and children grow in Christ as a result of the sermons?

Live preaching is almost ALWAYS better than a recording, so if you like the online audio, you will probably enjoy the weekly preaching.

Step 5 — Visit Some, Choose One

By this time, you should have a short list of options. Aim for 2–4 churches that are possibilities. Know that driving 20 extra minutes for a good church is totally worth it. Then visit those churches. Designate a month and go visit them.

If it’s out of state, then you may need to fly there for a long weekend and cram in a couple church visits. Your long-term spiritual health is worth whatever it costs.

Consider whether:

1. Are people friendly? Do people welcome you, introduce themselves and talk to you? Will this be an easy or hard place to get connected with others? A church that welcomes and reaches out to new people is precious.
2. Do people come to church with their Bibles? If the preacher regularly explains the text, then people usually feel the need to have one with them.
3. Does the preacher talk down to the church or on-level with them? This reveals a great deal about his view of his role and of leadership within the church.
4. Does the gospel have more than a mention in the sermon? Is the sermon a simple call to morality, or does it push you to consider and love the person and work of Christ?
5. Do you understand what’s being preached? Lack of clarity on your part does not mean that the speaker is too smart for you. If you don’t understand him, then the fault is his.
6. Do you think that you’ll grow & mature here? The foremost question is not whether its good for your kids, but is it good for you? If you’re not growing more in love with Christ, how your kids are doing is irrelevant. If you are growing and flourishing there personally, then your kids will be fine.
7. Do they practice church discipline? A church that pursues people in sin is what you want. Lack of accountability and ongoing public sin will be increasingly evident in churches that neglect biblical church discipline and restoration.

Step 6 — Pray, Decide and Commit

You should be praying throughout the process, but that’s not what I mean here. Too often, families bounce from church to church for months before settling in. Instead, you should pray for wisdom, make a choice, and commit to attend for 2–3 months, with an evaluation at that point about whether you should stay.

“Why?” you ask…

The first Sunday you attended could have been a fluke—far better/worse than their worship service normally is. One Sunday you may be greeted warmly, but how do people treat you once you become familiar? Children’s teachers may trade around, the worship team may change, you’ll see and hear the differences if you stay for a bit.

Don’t keep them under the microscope every week, rehashing the ‘Do we stay?’ conversation again and again. Attend for a couple months and then make the long-term decision.

Step 7—Get Plugged in at the New Church

Once you’ve settled on the church you want to call home, then you need to do more than simply attend on Sunday mornings. Mere attendance will leave you feeling disconnected and isolated. As much as you may long for your old church, you need to be committed to planting yourself deeply into this new church home.¹

Make sure to read Kevin DeYoung’s How to Start at Your New Church for more counsel on how to do this.

¹ And please don’t say “my church” or “my pastor” or “my mentor” in reference to your old church. You are now in a new church family. Talk like your heart is fully there, even when it struggles to be.